Disgusting + Hilarious= Sex with an Ass (And no, it’s not a excerpt from my journal)

Sometimes when you read a blog, it feels as though the blogger has reached into your mind and expertly braided words that you know (but wouldn’t think to pair together) into a perfectly beautiful plait that flows down the back of lyrical hilarity. That being said, when I first read about the following story in the Huffington Post, I had planned to write a blog myself. Then I saw what Michael K over at dlisted.com had to say and knew I couldn’t surpass this catty, debauched cyber front/clock/call-out (minus the Brenda Song/Trace Cyrus comment because I’m not sure who they are). Read on and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

Ass Sex: You're Doing It Wrong

Some things you just can't find in a Lonely Planet travel guide. Here's one of those things: In the Zimbabwe town of Zvishavane exists the wrong stuff that when snorted or smoked causes your brain to seep out the kind of fuckery-coated hallucinations that not even Alan Ball could dream up. That is one of my only explanations for why this happened.

The Sun (of course) reports that a 28-year-old nasty ass fucker named Sunday Moyo (quick side whisper: that's a really good drag name) was arrested on Monday in Zvishavane after he was caught doing a donkey the way no bitch should do a donkey without getting permission from said donkey first. The police found Sunday performing a sex act on the donkey who was lying on the floor while tied to a tree. Earth to PETA, stop photographing F-list titties and get on this. Shit.

Sunday was charged with bestiality and the court ordered him to undergo a psychiatric evaluation. Why must his head be analyzed by mental health professionals, you ask? Well, first of all, he raped a donkey. Second of all, the power of crazy was with him in full force when he told the court the reason for why he fucked a donkey:

"Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested.

I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town nightclub, and I don't know how she then became a donkey. I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with the donkey."

Why do I have a feeling that this same speech came out of Brenda Song's mouth when her mother asked her why she was marrying Trace Cyrus?