Monday, September 9, 2013

Hot with a Chance of Sexy: Idris Elba


I am so glad that Idris Elba is finally getting the recognition that he deserves. Not only because he has worked so hard and persevered for so long to get where he is now, but because up until very recently, it was probably easier to find Plutonium on the internet than information about this beautiful effin' man.  I know he has a Facebook page and his DJ Driis website, and even though the former gives some great shots of him and the latter is about the music, neither one really tells you about Idris.  He probably doesn't want the streets knowing all his business, which I understand, but I will share with y'all the scant bit I've found:




-He was born Idrissa Akuna Elba on September 6th, 1972 in Hackney, London, England to a father from Sierra Leone and a mother from Ghana. Happy Belated birthday to this Virgo/ Rat (I think he's our 1st rat for Hot with a Chance...) who just turned 42.  I don't mean this bitchy at all, but I was really surprised to find out he's only just turning 42.  He said in one interview that he was tall, extremely fit, and able to grow beard when he was 15 (I wonder how many bitches would’ve been featured on "To Catch a Predator" if he were 15 now.  I mean besides me.), so I guess he's just one of those dudes who had his magical summer at an early age and manned up (physically) faster than most after that.  And once you get grown man and start oozing dude and sweating masculinity, that shit doesn't leave you.  Idris could make lipstick and a purse butch.  It’s been my experience that men who mature physically at an earlier age (with the body hair and the bulk), often seem older than they are- though no less physically arresting- and come across as total daddies for life.  And I, like so many of my gay brothers, am totally okay with that. 

-He is father to his 17-year-old daughter Isan.  Isan is the product of this twice divorced sweet-lipped looking thespian's (and I don't mean a lesbian with a lisp) first marriage to Dowmovwa Sherman.  His second marriage to Kim Elba, which ended in 2003, yielded no children.  Rollingout.com, via bossip.com, reported a few months ago that Idris fathered a child with dancer Desiree Newberry after meeting her at the notorious Magic City strip club in Atlanta.  The snippet says that Idris took her to live with him in Miami, but that they broke up after the baby was born.  I am having a hard time believing any of this story because I haven’t found it anywhere else, and the writing is so sloppy, it’s hard for me to trust the reporting.  They first claim that Idris and this woman had a girl together, and then at the end said it was a boy.  There were only 3 sentences in the blurb.

-He is an award-winning actor as well as being a singer, a rapper, producer, DJ, and the basis for lots and lots of dirty dreams.  He's been in too many movies and TV shows to list, but I am particularly excited that Daniel Craig and some of the film producers want Idris to be the next James Bond. Omigoddess! I would feel funny- that weird vibrating buzz you feel sometimes when you are watching a sexy man- if I were to see Idris as Bond, James Bond.  And I am sure I wouldn't be the only hooka in the theatre badly concealing a pocket rocket.  Hell, that would give flash mob a whole new meaning for real. 

I think that it’s so easy for me to see Elba as Bond because he comes across as being a consummate male.  He seems as though he would be as equally comfortable hobnobbing with heads of state and royalty as he would be in a street fight.  In fact, there doesn’t seem to be a lot that Idris can’t do, and we’d all probably say yes to most of it.  He appears to be the type of man who would pick wild flowers and bring them to you for no reason, cry at sad movies, and then turn around and break the shit out of your headboard taking you to dizzying heights of ecstasy.


According to Wikipedia, Mr. Elba will next be seen in “Thor: The Dark World” and then playing Nelson Mandela in the biopic “Mandela: The Long Walk to Freedom”.  I would also like to see him and Colin Farrell in “Black Pudding”, which is a homoerotic fantasy I’ll be having tonight about two straight men who are drawn together, but also want some creamy chocolate sweetness (me) to go with that sausage.




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