Stir Up the Campbell? No, Y'all, La Sopa is Good

When I younger, I didn’t like Naomi Campbell because she always seemed like the perennial mean girl.  Although I’m sure she is definitely still the HBIC (head bitch in charge) of any group she rolls with, I understand better why.  Surely she was born a bad ass, but being a dark-skinned sista coming up in the modeling world when she did and to achieve what she has, she had to develop a super thick skin and a sharper tongue. She also had to know when to slam her foot down and when to raise it up to kick someone’s ass (literally and figuratively).

That being said, I know that I appear rather fascinated with her lately, and I guess I am- but I am not the only one.  It seems like the media had been following La Sopa around every yacht on which she frolicks since she parted with Vlad the Model Impaler. (And I want to say quickly, I call her “La Sopa” for her last name obviously, but also because she’s hot, her body is long, lean, and fluid; and even if you don’t love her, you can totally appreciate her at certain times. So if you run into her before me, please let her know that).  Every time I check certain sites lately on the interwebs, there are pictures of Naomi splashing around in the sea, appearing to give less than a shit about Vlad and Luo Zilin.

Even though her give a fuck is deliciously broken (at least in the press) when it comes to the two aforementioned assholes, I think that the media is following her around so much, because like me, they are waiting for her to flip the bitch switch and bring back vintage, hot and fiery La Sopa:  We all keep waiting for her to come for them like they work at British Airways…or for her- cellphone and all.  We want to see her stomp onto Vlad’s yacht, catwalk on Luo’s face, and punch Vlad hard in his windpipe so he will continue to shut the eff up about the wherefores and whys of his assholery.  That would be letting them off easy because the way they dogged her out is exactly why women kill and why Investigation Discovery is one of the hottest cable channels right now.

But maybe we are all waiting in vain for La Sopa to boil over because according to an article I recently saw, this seemingly anger-managed Naomi is channeling her rage into some intense workouts.  They say the best revenge is living well, and she looks fabulous-er!  She might rent space on the runway to some of these young upstarts so they can walk behind her, but bitch still owns it.  Period. And her body is rocking so hard in her bathing suit shots she should probably take some Dramamine before she makes herself sick.

The thing that probably has me most captivated regarding Naomi in this tsunami of wrong is that we see who Vlad has already moved down to…oops. I mean, on, to. The question I’m asking is, “Who does Naomi date now?”  Once you’ve dated a billionaire, I would imagine it must be hard to go back to a simple multi-millionaire.  You don’t voluntarily go from first class to coach.  You don’t go from the Plaza to Holiday Inn Express- not on purpose any way.  Naomi the Great has conquered the Western World sexually/ romantically-so like that Alexander of old, I think she should turn toward the east.   

Seriously, bitch would want to friend up Janet Jackson for realsies.  That hooka didn’t do too shabby with Wissam (less his ears) and surely he has friends or relatives that they can introduce to Naomi.  And while I don’t necessarily see her happy about the thought of wearing a hijab (or anything that covers her ridiculous body in any form),  I can imagine ten or so billion reasons for her to plaster on a fake effing smile and wear the shit out of one.  #teamnaomi #kickabitch #imnotsayingsheshouldvekilledhimbutiunderstand #slapaho #getoffmyrunway

To see our deliciously decadent cards, click here