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Quote of the Day 1-26-13

New Chocolate and Pearls Valentine's Day Cards

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Quote of the Day: Beautiful Maleness

Quote of the Day: Victor Hugo & a Kiss

Thanksgiving Day Hollywood Style: Turkey, Stuffing, and a Beatdown

I know that I am not supposed to delight in men beating the crap out of each other.  Especially in front of a child- even if she was rushed away before the actual fisticuffs, she had to get a sense of the mood and that is not cute.  But when I heard that Olivier Martinez bam-bammed on Gabriel Aubry's face in Halle Berry’s driveway- something very primal came out of me.  I immediately had visions of ancient warriors, gladiators, invaders, and destroyers.  And I liked it.  I know it's the 21st century, and we should all know better than to let our fists be our words, but sometimes we forget that we are just basically animals that have shoes on and opposable thumbs. 

Something about the idea of these two beautiful men beating on each other- while screaming and arguing in French no less- was so brutally masculine and unapologetically, well, violent, that it made me feel very feminine because somewhere in the twisted, vodka soaked noodles I call a brain, there lurked a desire for two beautiful men to be fighting over me.  And what woman in her reptilian base brain, wouldn't be turned on by that?  Especially if the dude you were engaged to beat down the man who you not only kicked to the curb, but who seemed to start the whole mess.  I'm sure when Halle finally calmed down, and Olivier came back from ER with only a swollen hand and scratch marks on his neck, she probably let fly with a primordial scream that reverberated through eons of dick-hungry women, ripped his clothes clean off his body and dirty-verbed him all night long. I sure would have.  

And it's frightening, but somewhat refreshing to know that the man-cave-fight-club thing can still bring out a lusty, however brief, desire in us women when given two hot-ass opponents.  Again, I am not a proponent of  this type of violence, but for just a moment, I had to be honest with myself and admit that the idea of the clash these present day Titans was super sexy.  I will also say, though, that I believe the whole thing could’ve been made better, a whole lot sexier, and far less bloody if they had just settled it the way all good looking men should handle disputes:  Turkish Oil Wrestling (click here to read more about Turkish Oil Wrestling and see photos).

Gabriel is obviously not the brightest person in the world.  Hell, he might not be the brightest person in a room full of 3-year-olds:  You're a model and you make a good chunk of your living from your face.  Why would you risk that by going after a former boxer?!  And if this is you showing the world that you don't have rage issues, then you were obviously Valedictorian at the Lohan School of Issue Denial.  Finally, for your viewing pleasure (displeasure?): Here’s a picture TMZ.com posted of Gabriel’s now broken mug.  Frenchman 1, French Canadian 0.

Hot with a Chance of Sexy: Robert de Niro

In another Hot with a Chance of Sexy first, I give you the man who puts the "sex" in "sexagenarian": ladies and bitches, boys and girls, hogs and heifers, puppies and kittens, Robert De Niro. That it has taken me so long to include this man in the Hot with a Chance of Sexy feature warrants a kick in the tits for me because Robert De Niro is a bad ass.  What constitutes bad ass, you ask?  His talent, passion, smoldering "De Nironess", and the fact that he has had his name in a song title while he's still alive.  Not a lot of bitches can say that.

In fact, that Bananarama song, "Robert De Niro's Waiting (Talkin' Italian)", was my first introduction to Bobby (and I call him "Bobby" because we're cool like that in our friendship in my head) back in 1984 when I was 14.  I'd spent the seventies and early eighties watching movies like What's Up, Doc?, Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo, Little Darlings, Scavenger Hunt, and National Lampoon's Vacation. Robert De Niro, with his dark, serious, grown-folks movies was nowhere on my barely bleedin' tween ass radar.

Born in Greenwich Village on August 17, 1943, this actor, director, and producer has art in his blood. His mother was a painter and poet and his father was an abstract expressionist painter and sculptor.  Bobby Milk, as his friends called him because of his coloring, made his acting debut at age 10 playing the Cowardly Lion in his school's production of The Wizard of Oz.  From that moment, this sexy Leo knew what he wanted to do with his life.  He dropped out of school at 16 to pursue acting- studying at the Stella Adler Conservatory and Lee Strasberg's Actors Studio.

Bobby's first movie was playing opposite of Jill Clayburgh in The Wedding Party in 1963, but the movie wasn't released until 1969.  He got tons more attention playing a dying Major League baseball player in 1973's Bang the Drum Slowly.  I have never seen that movie, but I know that Bobby could still, to this day, bang my drum slowly and that's all I know.  Apologies- I digress.

One of my favorite De Niro stories- of Robert the Younger - is about how he got the role of the young Vito Corleone in Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather Part II:  it was partly because Coppola remembered and was so taken with him from his previous auditions for Sonny Corleone, Michael Corleone, Carlo Rizzi, and Paulie Gatto, in the Godfather.  Who knows how many times he actually auditioned for those 4 roles, and whether or not he actually got, or was promised one or more. He still came back to audition again for Godfather Part II. Now that is tenacity, perseverance, and self-confidence mixed with a whole lot of sexy.  And what did it get him?  Just an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.  Next time I feel like quitting something, I am not gonna go diggin' for that poem- I am just gonna think about bad ass Bobby D.

His 1973 collaboration with Martin Scorsese in Mean Streets, parlayed into a successful working relationship for the two of them that spanned decades.  All told, Bobby has done too many movies to list here, but interestingly though we tend to think of him in mob roles, he has done a wide array of films including Brazil, Midnight Run, Analyze This, Angel Heart, and Cape Fear. De Niro also showed his talent in directing with 1993's A Bronx Tale and 2006's The Good Shepherd.

This prostate cancer survivor has had some bad times while filming as well. In 1998, while he was shooting in France, he was hauled in by the French po-po for 9 hours and then questioned by a magistrate over a prostitution ring.  To say he was pissed and let them know he wasn't the one was an understatement to the fullest degree.  According to French newspaper, Le Monde, De Niro said of France,

"I want to get this fuck where he breathes!  I want to find this nancy boy...I want him DEAD!  I want his family DEAD!  I want his house burned to the GROUND! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna PISS ON HIS ASHES!"

Okay- that's a quote from The Untouchables, but it seemed appropriate because he was so mad. Actually he said that he would never go back to France, but he obviously recanted when he showed up as the President of the Jury for the 64th Cannes Film Festival in 2011.

Besides acting and directing, Bobby co-founded the film studio TriBeCa Productions and the TriBeCa Film Festival.  He co-owns Nobu and TriBeCa Grill, as well as The Greenwich Hotel and the restaurant inside of it called Locanda Verde.  He has been investing in the TriBeCa neighborhood since 1989 and has residences on the east and west sides of Manhattan, and an estate in Marbletown in upstate New York.  I'm sure all his successes have to be source of personal pride, but it also must feel good to know his wife, Grace Hightower, and 6 children and 3 grandchildren will be well provided for in the future.  Bad ass.

Hot with a Chance of Sexy: Rick and Karl Yune

Hi, kids! I think my eyes have been on a diet for a while, because it's been a long time since I've seen anyone who inspired me to write a TFH post. Well, fan my brow, cousin, because my eyes had a huge Thanksgiving recently and are about to fall into a turkey/sex coma. Yours will too when you meet our featured hot-or rather, should I say, hots? That's right bitches, she's back and with another TFH 1st: Brothers.


All that pretty to the left of these words is Rick Yune. You may recognize him from the movies Die Another Day, The Fast and the Furious, Snow Falling on the Cedars, and Ninja Assassin, or television shows CSI, Alias, or Boston Legal- or not. Who cares? You see him now.

This sexy ass Leo was born in Washington D.C. on August 22, 1971. He graduated from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania in 1994 and worked as a hedge fund trader for SAC capital.

OK? So he's gorgeous and smart? Not enough. He also practices many forms of martial arts and was a serious contender for the US Olympic team in Taekwondo when he was 19.

Voted one of People magazine's sexiest men in 2002, you can look for this not married hottie, older brother to Karl Yune, this year in The Man with the Iron Fists.


And who is Karl Yune? Glad you asked because this-all this- is him. Younger than bad ass Rick by four years, this Aries Cat can scratch my post any time he'd like. Karl started out studying business, literature, and philosophy before switching to theater at Columbia's School of Art. He also studied with the Groundlings Improv Group.

He has appeared in some mess about Anacondas, something called Forbidden Warrior, and Memoirs of a Geisha- as well as appearing in various off-Broadway shows and doing some modeling (shocking, right?! OMG- those cheekbones could cut my hair and I could take a nap in those beautiful lips).

Hopefully Karl with keep plugging away at the acting game and we will see this LA resident in some notable films soon- or some porn- whichever.

K-Y Intense Heats Up the Airwaves

I was in my chambers yesterday doing my favorite thing- well, 2nd favorite thing: lying in bed watching TV. Too lazy to change the station during a break in Real Bitches of Beverly Hills, I sat through a barrage of commercials not particularly paying attention until one with 2 women sitting on a bed. Wait- what? Turns out, K-Y is going a little GLBT- at least the "L".

While the commercial was incredibly tame and not provocative, I think it was appropriate in that it seemed to mirror other het versions of commercials for this product. I also think that it's really cool that not only did K-Y reach out to an obvious and very real target market, but that no one made a huge deal out of the fact the commercial was coming out (no pun intended).

For those of you who don't know what the K-Y Intense is exactly, here's what they say on their site about the product:

K-Y® Brand INTENSE® is uniquely formulated arousal gel that has women saying "it makes sex more satisfying." INTENSE® is not a lubricant, but a gel to be massaged on the clitoris to increase sensitivity, heightening the feeling of pleasure during climax. 75% of women in consumer use studies who used K-Y® Brand INTENSE® experienced heightened arousal, sexual pleasure, and sensitivity where it counts most. Our science + your art = intense satisfaction™ …for both of you.

Arousal is at your fingertips - or his. During foreplay, gently massage a drop (2-4 pumps) onto your clitoris. Most women in consumer studies experienced heightened sensitivity, increased pleasure, and a more intense climax. Re-apply as desired. Use externally. Hormone and paraben free. Approximately 20 applications.

Great explanation, but given their new commercial, they should change "Arousal is at your fingertips- or his" to "Arousal is at your fingertips- his or hers."

On a side note, I should also mention that many of my greeting cards not only celebrate femininity with natural imagery, the passages could come from either genders. Check them out at www.zazzle.com/chocolateandpearls.