2010 WC: Final Weekend

Update: It's German 3-2.

OK girls and boys, I was super lame & didn't do as I said and follow the final 16 hotties in the World Cup. Sorry. I was too busy watching the games (oh, Ghana).

Anyway, since we are down to the final weekend- actually the battle for 3rd place is happening as I type and watch on my computer screen (thank you, Univision. ESPN and ABC can go suck an egg, kiss my grits, up their nose with a rubber hose & anything other 70s sitcom insult you can think of to let them know they blow and suck all at once in terms of their online WC coverage). Apologies, I digress.

Since we are down to the battle for third, I thought I would I would introduce y'all to a couple of boys I know: One from Germany and one from Uruguay. Now, here I chose to deviate a bit, for once, and highlight a WC coach. Yep, a coach. I better introduce him now because it might be the last time you see him on the sidelines guiding a WC team. Without further ado my chirrun, I give you Joachim Loew (Low).

Now, before you bitches start giving me the side eye & wondering if I got kicked in the head with a Jabulani- let me 'splain. I know no one is ever going to accuse him of being the most handsome man in the world. And I know he's playing a dangerous game with that Jerry-Lewis-at-70 jet black hair dye. I also know that he's a creepy looking cat. I mean, if he were on an episode of Law & Order: SVU, you would immediately know that he was the one committing the felony- whatever it may be. His expressionless cool definitely hints at a capacity to easily kill. I know all of that, but I can't help myself: I find him sexy.

Joachim "Jogi" Low was born on February 3, 1960 (he's 50-with that body- yes, I know) in Schonau, West Germany. A married father of one, Jogi's soccer tenure began with a youth career that included playing 4 times for the German national under-21 team. His senior soccer career began in 1978 with team SC Freiburg. The attacking midfielder played for 5 other teams, and returned twice to Freiburg during his career, before ending his run with FC Winterthur in Switzerland.

While still active as a player, Jogi began coaching while he was still active as a player in the early-mid 1990s. In 2004, the talented tactician was brought on board by Jurgen Klinsmann to serve with him as the assistant coach for Germany. In the 2006World Cup, their team turned out a great performance against Portugal to win third place. When Klinsmann decided to move onto more American pastures, days after the WC ended, Low was appointed head coach. After coming in second to Spain in the 2008 Euro Cup, Low's German team looks to repeat their 3rd place win in the 2006 World Cup. We'll know in about :45 minutes.




Ah, Uruguay. The South American scrappers who fought so hard to get to the final four, only to be stopped by the Dutch and forced to now battle the Germans through to a 3rd place spot.


Watching that team throughout the World Cup, your eyes had to be drawn at some point or another to #10: Diego Forlan- or if we want to be thorough, Diego Martin Forlan Corazo, the 5"10 striker from Montevideo. Although he was born into a family of soccer players on May 19, 1979, I have to wonder if he is not, in fact, the love child of CeCe Deville from Poison. Assuming he's not, we at least now know what CeCe would've looked like if he had picked up a soccer ball instead of a guitar that talked to Bret Michaels.

Diego was actually a promising tennis player in his youth beore concentrating on soccer. He started his soccer career with Independiente in Argentina before moving onto Man U in 2002. Things didn't go so smoothly for our boy in the land of Angles (the people, not the figure formed by 2 lines extending from the same point), and in 2004 he moved onto Spanish club Villareal CF. He also won the Golden Boot that year along with Thierry Henry (the much beloved French player who garnered a potato field full of Irish fans after a blatant handball that was missed by the referee- named Ray Charles, evidently- and the subsequent ousting of Ireland from 2010 World Cup contention by the French).

This two-time winner of the Pichichi Trophy with the legs of steel is not married, but he is in a relationship with Argentine model and actress, Zaira Nara.