When I younger, I didn’t like
Naomi Campbell because she always seemed like the perennial mean girl. Although I’m sure she is definitely still the
HBIC (head bitch in charge) of any group she rolls with, I understand better
why. Surely she was born a bad ass, but
being a dark-skinned sista coming up in the modeling world when she did and to
achieve what she has, she had to develop a super thick skin and a sharper
tongue. She also had to know when to slam her foot down and when to raise it up
to kick someone’s ass (literally and figuratively).
That being said, I know that I
appear rather fascinated with her lately, and I guess I am- but I am not the
only one. It seems like the media had
been following La Sopa around every yacht on which she frolicks since she
parted with Vlad the Model Impaler. (And I want to say quickly, I call her “La
Sopa” for her last name obviously, but also because she’s hot, her body is long,
lean, and fluid; and even if you don’t love her, you can totally appreciate her
at certain times. So if you run into her before me, please let her know that). Every time I check certain sites lately on
the interwebs, there are pictures of Naomi splashing around in the sea, appearing
to give less than a shit about Vlad and Luo Zilin.
Even though her give a fuck is deliciously
broken (at least in the press) when it comes to the two aforementioned assholes, I think that the media is following her around so much, because like
me, they are waiting for her to flip the bitch switch and bring back vintage,
hot and fiery La Sopa: We all keep
waiting for her to come for them like they work at British Airways…or for
her- cellphone and all. We want to see her stomp onto
Vlad’s yacht, catwalk on Luo’s face, and punch Vlad hard in his windpipe so he
will continue to shut the eff up about the wherefores and whys of his assholery.
That would be letting them off easy
because the way they dogged her out is exactly why women kill and why Investigation Discovery is one of the
hottest cable channels right now.
But maybe we are all waiting in
vain for La Sopa to boil over because according to an article I recently saw, this
seemingly anger-managed Naomi is channeling her rage into some intense
workouts. They say the best revenge is
living well, and she looks fabulous-er!
She might rent space on the runway to some of these young upstarts so
they can walk behind her, but bitch still owns it. Period. And her body is rocking so hard in
her bathing suit shots she should probably take some Dramamine before she makes
herself sick.
The thing that probably has me
most captivated regarding Naomi in this tsunami of wrong is that we see who
Vlad has already moved down to…oops. I mean, on, to. The question I’m asking is,
“Who does Naomi date now?” Once you’ve
dated a billionaire, I would imagine it must be hard to go back to a simple
multi-millionaire. You don’t voluntarily
go from first class to coach. You don’t
go from the Plaza to Holiday Inn Express- not on purpose any way. Naomi the Great has conquered the Western
World sexually/ romantically-so like that Alexander of old, I think she should
turn toward the east.
Seriously, bitch
would want to friend up Janet Jackson for realsies. That hooka didn’t do too shabby with Wissam (less
his ears) and surely he has friends or relatives that they can introduce to Naomi. And while I don’t necessarily see her happy
about the thought of wearing a hijab (or anything that covers her ridiculous body
in any form), I
can imagine ten or so billion reasons for her to plaster on a fake effing smile
and wear the shit out of one. #teamnaomi
#kickabitch #imnotsayingsheshouldvekilledhimbutiunderstand #slapaho #getoffmyrunway
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