Snooki Monster is a PSA

I have always been very vocal about my love for reality television- the trashier the better. I think that Temptation Island should’ve won an Emmy, okay? I love trashy television. And you can’t profess to loving trashy television without admitting you love Jersey Shore. And I do. I proudly chant “fist-pump, push-up, chapstick” whenever the opportunity presents itself, and sometimes when it doesn’t.

I know lots of people out there are repulsed with Snooki and the gang, and yes, there is an element of repulsion watching a grown person pee on the dance floor, the whole “Smush Room” concept, and the idea of having sex with the Situation; but for the most part, the other aspects tend to make me laugh. I was even onboard for some giggles and ha-ha-has in the recent episode where Snooki had to deal with her UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). Not that she had one, but her frankness in discussing it with her father, and, I dunno, the nation? Not that she peed on the dance floor, but that she peed on the dance floor, took a bath in Axe’s grandmother, Love’s Baby Soft, in the ladies room and pronounced that a perfume shower was as effective as a real shower. Hmmm- sweat, piss, cheap perfume, cigarette smoke, and booze? What becomes a legend most? Ugh. I’m sure there are trash cans behind dance clubs that smell better at the end of the night. I digress.

As Snooki continued to speak freely about her UTI on the episode, she said that she didn’t know how she got it (later on Watch What Happens Live, she said it was because she had anal sex with Jionni- insert any joke about him doing that right now). But I knew Snooki Monster’s UTI was the stuff PSAs are made of later in the same episode when they show her breezing out of the ladies room without washing her hands, as she offhandedly quips, “I never wash my hands.” “I think I know contributing factors, if not the real cause of her UTI,” thought Captain Obvious.

Not that Snooki is the brightest star in the sky, but I realized if she doesn’t know how to avoid UTIs- and that obviously wasn’t her first time at the rodeo- then maybe other girls don’t know either, so I figured I would pass along the information, because in the immortal words of Bill Hicks, we’re all just trying “to learn, evolve, and get the fuck off this planet.” I consider this my good deed for the day.

For information about symptoms and causes: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/urinary-tract-infection/DS00286/DSECTION=symptoms

This link includes home remedies and treatment: http://www.emedicinehealth.com/urinary_tract_infections/article_em.htm