Quote of the Day: Woes of Loving a Pretty Man...

Quote of the Day: Victor Hugo & a Kiss

Thanksgiving Day Hollywood Style: Turkey, Stuffing, and a Beatdown

I know that I am not supposed to delight in men beating the crap out of each other.  Especially in front of a child- even if she was rushed away before the actual fisticuffs, she had to get a sense of the mood and that is not cute.  But when I heard that Olivier Martinez bam-bammed on Gabriel Aubry's face in Halle Berry’s driveway- something very primal came out of me.  I immediately had visions of ancient warriors, gladiators, invaders, and destroyers.  And I liked it.  I know it's the 21st century, and we should all know better than to let our fists be our words, but sometimes we forget that we are just basically animals that have shoes on and opposable thumbs. 

Something about the idea of these two beautiful men beating on each other- while screaming and arguing in French no less- was so brutally masculine and unapologetically, well, violent, that it made me feel very feminine because somewhere in the twisted, vodka soaked noodles I call a brain, there lurked a desire for two beautiful men to be fighting over me.  And what woman in her reptilian base brain, wouldn't be turned on by that?  Especially if the dude you were engaged to beat down the man who you not only kicked to the curb, but who seemed to start the whole mess.  I'm sure when Halle finally calmed down, and Olivier came back from ER with only a swollen hand and scratch marks on his neck, she probably let fly with a primordial scream that reverberated through eons of dick-hungry women, ripped his clothes clean off his body and dirty-verbed him all night long. I sure would have.  

And it's frightening, but somewhat refreshing to know that the man-cave-fight-club thing can still bring out a lusty, however brief, desire in us women when given two hot-ass opponents.  Again, I am not a proponent of  this type of violence, but for just a moment, I had to be honest with myself and admit that the idea of the clash these present day Titans was super sexy.  I will also say, though, that I believe the whole thing could’ve been made better, a whole lot sexier, and far less bloody if they had just settled it the way all good looking men should handle disputes:  Turkish Oil Wrestling (click here to read more about Turkish Oil Wrestling and see photos).

Gabriel is obviously not the brightest person in the world.  Hell, he might not be the brightest person in a room full of 3-year-olds:  You're a model and you make a good chunk of your living from your face.  Why would you risk that by going after a former boxer?!  And if this is you showing the world that you don't have rage issues, then you were obviously Valedictorian at the Lohan School of Issue Denial.  Finally, for your viewing pleasure (displeasure?): Here’s a picture TMZ.com posted of Gabriel’s now broken mug.  Frenchman 1, French Canadian 0.