Surely you’ve heard the story by now of three men who were
supposedly kicked out of Saudi Arabia earlier this month by their Commission
for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices for being too good looking.
Evidently the Commission thought women would rip off their hijabs, lift up
their niqabs, shimmy out of their abayas, and throw their panties at these
dudes (before being stoned to death), which is weird to me because I thought unrelated
men and women were strictly segregated in public places (such as a festival). The interweb has
been alight with photos of Omar Borkan Al Gala and the speculation that this
actor, poet, and photographer is one of the three men. Now, I will give him props because he is a
good looking dude, but get kicked out of a country good looking? Hmmm.
If he was one of the three Emirati “delegates” whose fine
ass was in town for the Jenadrivah Heritage and Cultural Festival, then they
might have been asked to leave because the UAE allowed one of their sexy female
artists to drive attend the festival. This whole Borkan-fever erupted when he posted
a link to the deportation story on his Facebook /UAE promotion page, but he
never said that he was one of the three, and as of this time, he hasn’t
responded to any messages left by Western news agencies. If you got kicked out of a country for being
too good looking, you would tell EVERYONE, repeatedly, in a variety of
languages. Shit, if I got kicked out of
a 24-hour Wal-Mart in Hueytown, Alabama at 3:00AM on a Sunday morning for being
too good looking in a sea of stereotypical, inappropriately dressed Wal-Mart crackheads, I would try to
get that story to CNN at 3:01 and it would immediately go viral in my mind and with
my 11 twitter followers.
Any road, back to Omar.
I admit that I was initially fascinated by this story, and yes, I went
to his Facebook page and looked at his photos more than once. Is it just me, or
does anyone else think that there is a GlamourShots in the UAE and Omar is good
friends with the manager/part-time makeup artist? After looking through his
page, I have to say that if the Saudi source hadn’t said that they kicked them
out for being too sexy for the sand, I wouldn’t put it past Omar to assume that’s why he was told to kick
cans. He seems douchebaggy enough. I can
imagine his outrage as he tries to hold
his tears, a bag full of Kryolan makeup, and his borrowed micro airbrush
compressor that he uses to spray on his perfectly coiffed beard as he screams
at the immigration officers, “What?! Is it because I am too handsome? Is that
why I have to leave?!”
And while I have serious doubts that he was kicked out for
being too cute for his own good, I can see him being kicked out for (a.) bogarting
all the eyeliner in Riyadh (b.) auditory assault on hearing ears with his bad
poetry “beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes…the place where love
resides.” Seriously? Whatever, Rumi. (c.) They probably thought
that he stole the purse that fell out of his mouth when he opened it to
talk. He is a pretty cat, but he is
trying waaayyyy too hard to be butch in his pictures.
Regardless of the whether the handsome story turns out to be
true or not (it won’t), I hope that Omar milks the shit out of his fifteen
minutes. He seems like a true hustler-
look what he did with some GlamourShots, Photoshop, and a link to a news story. I have to respect his game and his ingenuity. Forget Gangnam style, that bitch is workin’
it Dubai style- flashy and over the top.
And I want to see more.
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