Erotica vs Porn

A few weeks ago there was an erotic film festival here in town. I looked over the flyer and decided to check out one night of films that included the billing, "Sensual film lovers rejoice!" and that there would be "artistic erotic shorts portraying authentic female pleasure in a variety of sexy scenarios."

Because it was advertised in that way, I decided to check it out. While some of the shorts were indeed enjoyable, for the most part, I felt like I was just watching porn. Not that there's anything wrong with "just watching porn", I think that I let my own interpretations, expectations, and my own bias (female director) get the best of me. And it made me stop and think afterward: What is the difference between erotica and porn?

Of course the differences are completely subjective. One person's exciting erotic art is another person's visual Nyquil and it will quickly knock out your yes-yes area and put your ass to sleep.

One popular quip is that the difference between porn and erotica is the lighting. I personally like to think that the difference, in its broadest, most base heterosexual sense is that erotica is what straight men see and say, "No dude would ever do that." Porn is what straight women see and say, "No woman would ever do that."

Obviously the differences run much deeper. Violet Blue, an author and a sex columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle, says it pretty well (to me):

Porn is something that is a graphic sexual image that conjures up an animalistic reaction in you. You like it or you don't. Erotica also is graphic sexual imagery, but it has an extra component or several extra components that resonate with the viewer- be it artistic, be it passionate, be it something the emotionally engages you, be it something that parlays into a fantasy that you have about sexuality or the way that you relate to the people on the screen.

That relating "to people on the screen" is a huge thing for me. I can remember back in the day watching porn with a churning stomach seeing men who were just genetic disasters except for their large penises, and thinking that it was impossible to be turned on watching these wildebeests rut. The very idea of porn became a turn-off for me because of that and the non-existent story lines. At some point I, like many other women, discovered gay porn. Although the story lines weren't much better, at least the "actors" were hot.

These days, according to Steve Hirsch, the CEO of Vivid Entertainment- the world's largest adult film studio- 30 to 40 percent of the porn market is female; and Vivid and other studios are trying to make (heterosexual) porn more appealing to women. And although he didn't mention better looking males, he did say that there's more foreplay and tease involved, as well as story lines.

So I put it you, dear readers, what do you think the difference is between porn and erotica- and more importantly, do you even care?

Gloria Vanderbuilt Writes Erotica? Yep.

Gloria Vanderbuilt. Yes, she of the black denium jeans (it's a shame to call them jeans). Yes, the mother of the CNN silver fox Anderson Cooper. Yes, the octogenarian. Yes, that Gloria Vanderbuilt wrote an erotic novel last year, which was published by Ecco, called Obsession: An Erotic Tale. Who knew?

According to a New York Times article by Charles McGrath, the tale is rife with sexual scenes involving orgies, dildos, whips, silken cords, golden nipple clamps, hairbrushes for spanking, mint, cayenne pepper, fresh garden carrots, and a unicorn. We've much to learn from our elders, eh?

Having been married four times and having had affairs with men like Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra, and Howard Hughes, I would imagine that Ms. Vanderbuilt's got a trick or two in her nightstand drawer. And I say that with nothing but sheer admiration.

I love the fact that a woman in her 80s has written a book that allows us to see that sexual desire and fantasties don't automatically diminish simply because a person gets older. Sex is a lifelong celebration and pleasure, and I applaud the fact the she is bold enough and comfortable enough to write about it.

Ever since I became a devotee of the show Golden Girls at a very young age, I have been a huge proponent of sexual expression being discussed and explored by post-menopausal women. By seeing and reading about it, it serves to dispel the erroneous notion that most of us have about sex among older people being boring or non-existent.

Big ups to Gloria- and I look forward to reading her first foray into the world of erotica. I would also love to hear from anyone who has had the chance to read her tale.

And for my fellow fans of the Golden Girls who also happen to like porn, I found this tidbit on the internet today, Not sure if it's real or not, but I wouldn't be surprised:

A Leftover From April Fools?

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