According to the Sacramento County Sheriff's Office, Jesse James, wearing a dark puffy jacket, a sombrero (yes, you read that right), and a boxing glove jumped on the hood of a patrol car around 12:00A.M. The 55-year-old Thomas repeatedly screamed his name before jumping off the hood of said car and running even further away from sanity. When the cops found him later, his crazy ass was lying in the street, probably still screaming his name, so he was arrested on suspicion of public drunkenness. After all that foolery they were still only suspicious? Really?
What I don't understand- above and beyond where he found a sombrero and a boxing glove (not even a pair, just one)- is how he rolled up on the cops without them seeing him coming? I'm sure this cat is bigger than Speedy Gonzales, the sombrero wearing mouse from the cartoons, and much louder. How did they not see him coming- and how was he initially able to get away from the them and hide after he jumped down off the black and white? You can probably Google Map those big ass crazy eyes, surely you can see and feel them burning into you and your soul from the middle of a city street.
Seriously, those eyes are going to haunt my dreams. I know that Tyra calls smiling with your eyes "smizing"- what do you call murdering a family of 4 or decapitating some hookers with your eyes, because that's what your man is doing. You know he had all the room in the world in the holding tank because he seems the kind of crazy that will just leap on a dude and choke a bitch out for smelling him wrong. You would have to be crazier than him to mess with him, and I just don't think that's possible.
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