If “elegance” now means drunken, trashy, slovenly harridan,
then its epitome is Jana Lawrence.
According to the Huffington Post, this delicate flower blossomed into a
bouquet of skank while watching the SEC Championship game between Georgia and
Alabama at El Jinete restaurant in Dacula, GA.
As you read about Lady Jana’s
antics I know you will probably find yourself repeatedly asking, “What becomes
a legend most?”
Evidently this borracha must have been drinking Los Jinetes
Cuatros (the Four Horsemen) because she
lost her mind and left it on the bathroom floor next to her morals: Bitch started cussing people out and flashing
her boobs. But the coup de foudre for this shining example of exquisiteness personified? Rubbing the genitals of another female patron and licking her
face. Such a fuckin’ lady, right?
When the management finally had enough of her foolery and
sexual battery and tossed her out, she reacted in true drunk fashion by not
going home, but moving onto another bar/restaurant. The second establishment she infested was
called Friends, and Jana did her best to not make any by licking on peeps again
and grabbing random dudes' in their "special area".
The manager finally told her to hit the bricks because her
ass was hanging out of her pants, and she acted like she was reaching for her
pocketbook to douse herself in some more “demure” and “genteel”, but instead
reached down and pulled her pants further down.
When the cops came to take her away ha, ha- she poured more
of her special Jana sugar on them calling them racial slurs, and names like the
English term for cigarettes, as well as
threatening to bury them under the jail.
After she finished insulting and inciting the boys, she offered some Sapphic
Cellblock H action to the female officer on duty. Umm.
Sounds sexy in a vomit inducing game of "Death is Not an Option" kind
of way.
The 46-year-old walked around the Grand Canyon to get her secret
wish to go to the pokey because she told the cops before she vomited on
herself and passed out (I would assume) that she was glad to go to jail because
her husband “beats her ass” and couldn’t get to her there. How any man could be driven to beat on such
timeless radiance is beyond me.
This ray of sunshine, veritable poetry in motion, Jana
Lawrence, was ultimately charged with sexual and simple battery, public
indecency and drunkenness. She remained in
jail at press time.
To see the full Huffington Post article, click here.
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